


This Thing

by bluesatinsashes



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Feelings, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, M/M, but like not good feelings, literally just feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 06:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19193575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesatinsashes/pseuds/bluesatinsashes
Summary: "Possibly for the first time in his entire life, Dorian Pavus found himself avoiding sex like the plague."After the Inquisitor goes through the trouble of retrieving the Pavus birthright for him, Dorian finds himself waiting for the inevitable.





	This Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling angsty the other day and also wanted to get back into writing.
> 
> Two birds with one stone, eh?

He stowed away the Pavus birthright in a lockbox shortly after receiving it. He didn’t want the amulet back so he could wear it and flaunt off his lineage around Skyhold, the idea of that was utterly absurd. No, he didn’t want to wear it at all, it was best to keep it locked away while he was in the South. And yet Dorian felt like he couldn’t stop staring at it.

He was in his library alcove, as always. The opened lockbox was sitting in his lap rather than a novel, the Pavus amulet in his hands as he examined the piece of jewelry. The amulet only reminded him of Demetri Trevelyan now, usually a fascinating subject to daydream upon, however now that name only brought dread to Dorian’s inner thoughts.

Possibly for the first time in his entire life, Dorian Pavus found himself avoiding sex like the plague.

It was inevitable at this point, however. Demetri Trevelyan obviously wanted Dorian, and who wouldn't? Dorian knew he was an attractive man, it was one of the things he prided himself most on. You'd have to blind not to notice, and the Inquisitor certainly wasn't. Dorian noticed the way Demetri’s stunning eyes gazed upon him when he thought no one was watching, however their Herald wasn't really aware of the art of  _subtlety_. Everyone of course noticed the looks, especially Dorian.

Dorian was in no way surprised by Demetri’s obvious want for him, the past few weeks of this  _thing_ they had going on was rather chaste after all, compared to the other _things_   he had with men back home. If they were in Tevinter, they would’ve fucked and relieved this tension between them back at Haven probably. Just one night, a passing mischievous glance between them in the morning, and all would be over and finished with, never to be spoken of again.

But, this wasn’t Tevinter, Dorian supposed.

He found that he wasn’t quite sure how things like this worked in the South. He knew it wasn’t quite the same, women could marry other women, and men could marry other men, both with little more than a glance. It wasn’t nearly as scandalous as it was in Tevinter, it didn’t have to be kept underneath the table. But still, should he even bother to hope for more? Demetri was the  _Inquisitor_ , he had a reputation to uphold and Dorian’s tainted it plenty the past couple months just by being seen standing a little too close to Demetri, maybe even  _touching_   him. If the rumors were bad enough from mere speculations alone of the two of them being intimate, Dorian couldn’t imagine what the Chantry sisters would come up with if Dorian was seen leaving the Inquisitor’s quarters in the early hours of the morning, looking disheveled and well-fucked.

Not that he cared what the rumors said about him, Dorian was perfectly content being seen as the “Evil Tevinter Magister” by others. The way he quipped at people in the Inquisition when they questioned him certainly didn’t help matters any, but he was true to his word, he simply just didn’t care. If Southerners didn’t want to make the effort to perhaps look at Dorian’s motives further instead of just assuming devious things about him simply because of his homeland, then that wasn’t his problem. He came here to stop Corypheus and help Tevinter in the process, what the Southerners thought about him wasn’t an issue, their opinion of him didn’t matter.

Their opinion of Demetri Trevelyen, however,  _did_ matter.

Demetri had already assured Dorian that he didn’t care what others thought about him, about what they thought of this  _thing_ between them. It was a naive notion, one that Dorian found terribly endearing and adorable, but it simply wouldn’t do. The Inquisition relied on the fact that its Inquisitor was well-received by the people of Thedas. The fact Demetri was a mage from a noble family in the Free Marches of all places tainted his reputation enough to make many people wary. Being with Dorian only polluted Demetri’s reputation further. Being together wasn’t wise, it was a simple fact.

But then Demetri continues to reassure Dorian that the opinion of the masses doesn’t matter, that it doesn’t bother him and therefore shouldn’t bother Dorian. Again, a naive notion, but still quite adorable. Dorian found that he could almost believe Demetri when he talked about it in that way, with that voice of his.

_He's only doing it because he wants you in his bed. He'll trick your foolish heart only to rid of you later, just like all the rest_ , his mind would hiss at him when he allowed himself to hope, even as his heart would urge him on, stupidly lifting itself back up off the ground just to get hurt again, and again, and again.

And yet Dorian still wants to believe in his heart, he wants to believe in Demetri’s promises, but still he finds himself defensive, like a dog that’s been hit too many times by its master and flinches when someone raises a hand.

And then when Demetri walks up the stairs to Dorian’s alcove and hands him the Pavus birthright, Dorian wants to believe Demetri retrieved the amulet for him because he really cares about Dorian, as much as Dorian finds himself caring about Demetri. But instead he deduces that Demetri’s getting impatient waiting for Dorian to initiate sex, and if Dorian waited this out any longer, then Demetri would be the one walking into Dorian’s quarters one day, decided that he’s waited long enough for something he so obviously wants.

It’s not that Dorian doesn’t enjoy sex, oh no, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. It wasn’t as though Demetri wasn’t the only one interested in sex between the two of them, Dorian wanted Demetri in that way probably as much as Demetri wanted Dorian. It wasn’t the act itself that Dorian found himself dreading, it was what came with it that was bringing him worry, and with it, a headache. 

Dorian liked his little  _thing_ he was having with the Inquisitor - the flirting, the fleeting looks, the talking over wine in the library in the late hours of the night. It was all so disgustingly romantic, and yet Dorian found himself enjoying it. He found himself enjoying it so much that he was sure he would not only find himself disappointed, but also saddened when it would eventually end. He  _liked_   Demetri, he liked this  _thing_ between him, and sex would surely only ruin it. But he knew he could only string Demetri on this way for so long, evident by the trouble the Inquisitor had to go through to get the amulet back for him. Demetri was becoming impatient, that’s the only reason he would go through the effort of retrieving the Pavus birthright for Dorian, just to have Dorian owe him a favor that would come in handy later when Demetri finally realized that he’s waited long enough to have Dorian in his bed, however he wanted him.

Their  _thing_ would end, no more fleeting kisses shared in the library, no more shy glances, no more late night talks. After Demetri got to finally claim Dorian, that’s all he would ever want, all of this romantic courting business was just a prerequisite for the inevitable sex. And afterwards, they would go on their separate ways, never to engage in anything besides a professional relationship ever again if not for another mere one night stand together to unwind a bit. Dorian would become at the Inquisitor’s disposal, just like all the men back home in Tevinter treated him. Dorian is definitely no stranger in becoming someone’s plaything when they needed the release, it wouldn’t be the first time, or the second, or even the third. And who was Dorian to stop him? Demetri Trevelyan was the  _Inquisitor_ , arguably the most powerful man in Thedas. He had much more pressing matters to attend to other than to just make Dorian happy. Dorian’s happiness wasn’t an urgent matter, it hadn’t been an urgent matter in ages. Why should anyone - and out of all people the  _Inquisitor_  - care now?

No, what he needed to do was to just get this over with, Dorian thought as he ran his thumb over the twisting serpents on his amulet, taking in the detail of its design. The sooner the better. It was safer to end this  _thing_  now rather than later, when Dorian would find that he’s once again let himself become too attached to a person who ultimately doesn’t want or love him for who he is. He could almost laugh at the notion, who could care for him unconditionally when even his own father tried to change him by force, just so it would make loving his own son a little easier?

_Ridiculous_ , Dorian thought, wiping at the wetness he found in his eyes.  _Ridiculous._


End file.
